Meta Musings

I wish I could read all my notes. What remains from the experience is the follows: Dancing, Moving, Feeling between the realms of void, spirit and body, I felt that

• Void IS. everywhere.
• Spirit is energy.
• Void is possibility, potential.
• Spirit is energy as an expression of the potiential of void, and timeless.
• Body is the expression/embodiment of experience that spirit cannot have.
• There is no judgement of body from spirit.

Body is the expression of the spirit – ephemeral, fleeting host of experiences with no inherent meaning. In void and spirit there are no expectations, no judgement – that all comes in matter, in flesh. My vision was of bodies, lives unable to actually experience spirit since the scale is so different. The energy of it yes, but the form, or substance, or “is”-ness of spirit is incomprehensible from the body. I feel a direct connection to the void (or source or whatever you want to call it), but not to spirit. But this energy can only come from spirit expressing the potential of the void. There is a feeling of emptiness, absolute calm – all and nothing at the same time – at one end, and flickering flames/fingers of flesh at the other end, constantly arising, flickering and falling back – all existant at the same time. Conencting the two is spirit – seen as a monumental, titanic body, or shape as if with its arms connecting void and matter – a channel of power arising from the void one side, the other “arm” extending into the realm of flesh and manifesting as matter. Time is not there in itself – spirit is many, but at the same time one, and void is, and also is not. The void is at the bottom and the top – both within and without. Above – the space beyond and the potential between space, and within – down below the atomic level, subatomic, quantum emptiness is again energy and beyond that again we find the void from before the universe. Connection can be through outer or inner – its the same dance in the circle of void-energy-matter-energy-void, just at different scales – which only persist at the level of matter. Life in of itself is meaningless, like a patter of rain, droplets on your body – a multitude of sensation, experiences all in a space of seconds – undistinguishable. All make contact, all are experinced, felt, but rather as an overall experience – not individualized. With this I felt that I could take what i felt as an external connection of power that I feel from the void and fold that channel back into myself (shivers dance along my back again as I write this), connecting to the void within. I’m contained and container.

But if I connect to energy from the void, then I am connecting to spirit – that energy comes from the actualization of the potential of void – but is unknowable. So in fact I am connecting to spirit, but like a grain of sand on the beach, I feel the heat of the sun, but am unaware of the air that conveys it.

It all sounds spiritual, but that’s not how I experienced it. I experienced it as factual, reality – physics – limited by my ability to understand – no god, no spirit as in an actual being that gives us a mission or task in live etc etc. Just the vastness and unkownableness – although we’re making a jolly good go of it, we are limited by our plane of existence. Sometimes I can see where people get the god/source concepts from – an attempt to quantify, specify, define the undefineable, unknowable and give it edges so one can put it in a box and talk or argue about it.